


Degrade Me

by Killedbyapril



Category: Dir en grey, X JAPAN
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Jealousy, Light BDSM, M/M, Manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:01:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5636527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killedbyapril/pseuds/Killedbyapril
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoshiki's taste was almost honeyed. Shinya started to believe that he could become drunk off the man's breath if he had enough of it. "I want to punish you." Came a mumble that sounded like harmony to Shinya's ears.</p>
<p>Punish me and do as you please. Make me yours. Degrade me. Hurt me. Anything as long as it's with you.  </p>
<p>                             •••</p>
<p>Written by both @shvka and I. the following events take place at Lunatic Fest, Summer 2015.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Degrade Me

Shinya was honestly annoyed with his hair's condition after the show he's just done. He'd put lots of energy into his playing, a lot more than he usually did, considering he wanted to give the best performance for Him... But then again, would he ever notice someone like Shinya? How could such a god ever pay attention to mere, less skilled drummer the blonde man was? He found himself pathetic sometimes and this was one of those moments. Right now he would give anything to literally hide under the ground. 

His light hair was now damp and seemed a bit greasy from all the sweat he produced as he'd hit the drums all the time; his makeup was smudged on his face and despite he could fix it in a while, Shinya had no strength for it because he knew it was a hopeless attempt and it wouldn't make him look any better. Of course he was aware that the show would make him look this way, but he never thought it could be this bad. Now he was supposed to have a party with the rest of the musicans including Him, a person who shouldn't see him in such a state. Oh but somehow Shinya felt like He wouldn't be noticed anyway. Sadly the feeling of shame and anxiety couldn't leave him that easily... 

When he finaly managed to compose himself after a couple of minutes, he rose to standing position from the wall he had been leaning on and slowly walked to another area of the room which smelled of cigarettes mixed with whiskey and richly scented perfumes. He spotted some similar faces in the crowd as he grabbed himself a cup of beer and walked further through the crowd, carefuly observing every centimeter of the room. He could care less about the people attempting to speak to him and touch him. He was ignoring the dark red light making the whole space feel even more stuffy than it already was. That wasn't important right now. No one else mattered, untill Shinya found the object of all his desires and fantasies. 

Yoshiki was just casualy sitting on a big leather couch in the middle of the room, followed by the two other artists. Shinya recognized the other male as Atsushi Sakurai and to his surprise - his own friend Toshiya. They were sitting by the both sides of Hayashi and seemed to talk to eachother as the older drummer remined silent, just lazily finishing his cigarette. Shinya started slowly walking in the area He was, glancing at him from time to time, trying his best to be discreet so Yoshiki wouldn't suspect his desperation. The boy adored everything about the older one; he'd always been his inspiration, his biggest idol and the object of his fantasies. He madly lusted and desired both Yoshiki's mind and body even though he knew he'd never have it for himself. He'd never dream about actually having Him but every once in a while if he'd seen Him somewhere, Shinya could't help but observe him and study Yoshiki's complicated persona more and more carefully each time. It was a sort of addiction for the younger man; something he'd never had enough of and something he grew more greedy for each time. 

Shinya's lips parted as he emitted a small gasp at the sight of Yoshiki's lips letting out the smoke with such grace. His eyes were still covered by a huge pair of dark sunglasses so the other one couldn't see the direction He looked, nor would Shinya realize that Hayashi was actualy observing him as well... The younger one kept thinking of the other's thoughts, just like he'd always do when his fascination reached its limits. The more he though about it, the more he realized he would do anything to catch a glimpse into his thoughts.... to exchange a word with Him, but it'd never happened before and in his opinion it wasn't going to happen tonight either. But he didn't bother about this fact that much, as long as he could just look at Yoshiki it was enough for him. 

Suddenly, a distant voice in his head began to grow louder and louder before he realised it was his annoying fellow Toshiya who was already blind drunk and had begun jokingly calling for Shinya the way he always did. The bassist gestured for the other one to come towards him and as he stepped towards his friend, he saw Yoshiki's head turning slightly. It was almost as if Shinya could feel his gaze on him. The younger drummer coughed nervously and tried his best not to look in any other direction but at Toshiya's awful green teeth which helped him calm down a bit after such an unexpected thing. "What do you want?" He sighed when his fellow chuckled stupidly and faced him after a while. "Where is.. Dieeee?" He asked and covered his mouth with his hand when he heard himself having a hiccup. "He's gone somewhere with Kyo. Go look for him yourself..." Shinya answered as he helped him get up from the sofa. He was honestly glad it'd happened because otherwise he might've lost all his composure and embarrassed himself in front the god before him. 

He followed Toshiya's steps with his eyes and was about to leave as well until he felt a tight grip around his knee. When he looked down he noticed it was... Yoshiki's palm. Immediatly he was pulled down on the sofa next to him and was still being held, but the older drummer remained silent. Shinya nervously adjusted his long hair and looked down to where it hid the bright blush on his cheeks. "You know you're hopeless at hiding this," came a deep voice beside him. Yoshiki's words, sounded neither amused nor careless... just plain. The older man gazed into the distance, focusing on something else as he reached for another cigarette, lit it and before the younger drummer could react, Hayashi blew the smoke at his face and let a small smirk curve his lips. Shinya, the only member in his band that didn't smoke began to cough heavily and attempted to clear the air around him with his palm. He hated when people would do such things because obviously his beloved band members never missed an occasion to bully him, and this was one of the things they'd do. Despite their harsh treatment of Shinya, he never necessarily got angry at the rest of the band. he knew they were all a bunch of big kids who like to show off at times, but deep inside they were still good friends. 

Yoshiki had managed to wrap his arm around the other's back and began pulling him closer so that he was nearly resting on His chest. the older male moved his face closer to Shinya's and stopped smoking for a while. He knew no one would notice them here... everybody was busy with something else and probably too drunk for any smarter observation than scoping out alcohol. "You think I didn't notice you? I did. And you've seen to spike my interest as well." Yoshiki whispered into his ear and lowered his head a bit so he could slowly lick against Shinya's neck. The feeling sent shivers town Shinyas spine which caused him to tense up and not release a single sound. He didn't quite know what to think. Was Yoshiki seducing him? Was he joking or maybe he's already drunk to the point he doesn't know what he's doing? Shinya kept thinking about it nervously before he was distracted with Hayashi's lips.... or rather his teeth nibbling and sucking an obvious mark on his neck. Shinya didn't even know wether he should enjoy it or not since he still couldn't figure out the true intention of the older drummer. 

Once Yoshiki pulled away from Shinya, the younger one looked up and gave him a quesioning look. "Every predator marks his possesion so I did the same..." Yoshiki breathed out and got up from the sofa before disappearing into the crowd, leaving leaving the other boy alone. So was it a seduction? Shinya wondered as he placed his palm against the fresh, warm mark which carried the remnants of Hayashi's hot saliva. the thoughts running through his mind made him literally freeze for a moment as he was sitting alone on the sofa, trying to make some conclusions. It wasn't that easy, as he expected to form himself one clear explanation, but he decided not to think about it anymore as he got up from the sofa. 

After joining back into the crowd, he didn't think of Yoshiki anymore and focused on the other people as he began to swing from side to side on the dance floor. Shinya completely drifted away with the rhythm of the music and almost lost himself in it when he felt a strong palm grabbing his asscheeks, and nails being dragged into the sensitive flesh. When he turned back, young drummer realized it's none other than the man who left him by himself just moments ago. Shinya was too caught up in a mixture of shock and desire to move Yoshiki's hand away. 

More. 

He squeezed it once again and smirked at Shinya in a certainly obvious way. the other one knew exactly what was going going on, however now he decided it's his turn to play. He swiftly freed himself from Hayashi's grip and slowly walked away from him, even leaving the space where the party took place, and headed back stage to the dressing room. He smirked victoriously when he heard the other's steps and breath following him as he walked, yet he still pretending he didn't notice him. Shinya certainly enjoyed toying with the other this way and he hoped it will build some kind of tension between them so that it all could lead to something very... Unexpexted. It didn't take long before he let his body softly fall against the nearby wall as Yoshiki'd pressed him with his muscular body, holding him for a while, gazing into the younger boys innocent eyes. Yoshiki's eyes and profound grin pierced through Shinya just like thunders. he almost wanted to see the wild storm that was occurring inside him. 

The younger man pulled up one of his beautiful slender legs and wrapped it around Yoshiki's hips, pulling him even closer to feel his hot breath teasing the damp skin on his neck. "What now?" He asked softly and smirked at the other one in a seducive way. "I know you want to do me hard just tell where should we go..." He added, slowly licking his own lips in a lustful display while he kept looking into the other's now widely opened eyes. 

A pair of lips came down upon Shinya's, which kissed him so passionately that it stole the breath from his lungs. "You tease." Yoshiki breathed out with a smirk on his lips and a tight grip on Shinya's thigh. His finger tips trailed underneath the boy's shirt, pulling it over his head, leaving his porcelain skin exposed. The man's fingers traveled down the boys thin torso before taking ahold of his belt buckle and allowing his pants to fall the the ground. Shinya stood there nervously, in nothing but his tight undies as a scarlet blush appeared on his cheeks. Yoshiki, the man he had admired, loved, and almost lusted after was seeing like this. His whole body seemed to tremble as reality sunk in. 

The man was quick to close the space between them and began palming softly at Shinya's erection that he had formed through the course of the enticing mouth on his body. "I admit...." Yoshiki breathed out through clenched teeth. "I want to degrade you," He pinned the other male's hands above his head and sank his free hand into the back of Shinya's underwear, massaging his sweet ass. A wave of desperation swept the boys body as he began to grind his hips against his idol's but it didn't take long to discover that Yoshiki was just as hard as he was.

"Undress me." Came a voice that was inviting yet threatening. The command caused Shinya's heart to sink, but he was quick to oblige as he immediately began to undo the older drummer's shirt a button at a time. He kept his eyes focused on his task, almost as if he was too afraid to look Yoshiki in the eyes. Shinya was nearly captivated as he caught a glimpse of his godlike abdomen. The drummer couldn't resist as he reached out with a hesitant hand and trailed his fingers down Yoshiki's skin. His touch alone was enough to make him weak. The younger man fell to his knees before Yoshiki, almost as if he were praising the man, and began to undo his belt as well. His hands nervously fumbled over his idol's belt buckle, but eventually managed to slid those tight fitting leather pants pants the man's ankles. 

He gazed up at the older man, wondering what he should do next, but was reassured when a gentle hand graced his warm cheek. "I want you to suck me," the older drummer commanded. When he heard those words, his eyes immediately darted to the ground, for he was far too embarrassed to look anywhere else. "O-ok." He replied with a shaky voice as he slid the mans underwear down his thighs, revealing his hard erection. Such a sight sent a wave of electricity course through his body. It felt for Shinya as if he wanted to consume his whole being, and it wasn't long before his pink lips were wrapped around Yoshiki' member. 

A soft hum of pleasure escaped the pianist's lips as the male on his knees began taking him in inch by inch. The young drummer's face was almost serene as his eyes fell shut while pleasuring the man he looked up to so much, but suddenly Shinya let out a loud gasp. Yoshiki had gripped onto his blond hair, forcing his dick down the other's throat, causing him to gag. The repeated thrusts brought tears to his eyes while his face was fucked by the stronger man. The younger's jaw began to ache with pain, but even through his harsh treatment, he still wanted.....

More.

It seemed like the tighter Yoshiki gripped onto his hair, and the further he slid his throbbing cock into his mouth, simply made him even more aroused. He glided his tongue repeatedly against the sensitive skin that was between his lips... The thought of Yoshiki this close to him was enough to put him over the edge. Shinya's fingers sneaked down his own body and wrapped around his own member as he began to pleasure himself. He almost felt as if he were melting in his own desires and suffocating in lust. This was all His fault. No one had ever managed to spark this kind of desire inside him till now, and he was absolutely craving it. 

He slid free of Shinya's mouth just when the younger one was about to lose it. A sweet strand of saliva connected the tip of Yoshiki's dick to the beautiful full lips that knew how to pleasure so well. Gentle finger tips carefully glided over the other's sweet mouth as the pianist leaned down and whispered in a manipulative tone: "I don't believe I gave you permission to touch yourself, did I?" The way he said it caused a pool of fear inside Shinya's stomach. Immediate regret hazed over him and he felt like he had just done something so awful. How could a simple tone of voice cause him to feel this way? 

After looking up at the man hovering over him, tears began forming in his eyes as he managed to choke out a reply. "No.... I'm sorry..." The soft lips that he had grown so fond of only minutes prior managed to find his once again, and kissed him almost teasingly this time. The younger's eyes fluttered shut, as he was quick to fall for the man's lips. He parted his lips slightly, allowing his tongue to glide across the others. Yoshiki's taste was almost honeyed. Shinya started to believe that he could become drunk off the man's breath if he had enough of it. "I want to punish you." Came a mumble that sounded like harmony to Shinya's ears. 

Punish me and do as you please. Make me yours. Degrade me. Hurt me. Anything as long as it's with you. 

The thoughts spread through his mind like a wild fire. It was as if he was under a spell; one of which he was not ready to be freed from. In one swift motion, he had been pulled to his feet and met with a seducing smile as he was cradled in Yoshiki's strong arms. "Can you do me a favor?" The man asked in a hush tone. He leaned in so close that Shinya could feel his breath almost coiling around his neck. Hayashi's wet tongue caressed the younger's ear as he whispered: "Bring me my belt." Shinya nervously scanned the dressing room trying to recall where he had left his belt when he undressed the man. When he finally retrieved it, he hesitantly placed it in Yoshiki's hands and awaited further instruction. 

The older man circled Shinya like he was prey. "Now bend over the arm of the couch." He said with an uneasy smirk. The blond took a deep breath and swallowed hard before leaning over the couch and burying his face in the cushion. At this point his whole ass was being revealed to the man. He was giving him full access, almost as if he were screaming violate me. His lover had completely disappeared behind him which seemed to make him feel even more nervous and insecure.

A sudden crack of the belt came down on his sensitive ass, making him let out a loud cry. Shinya's finger tips gripped onto the fabric of the couch that he was being pinned to and his legs were now having a difficult time keeping him standing. The slap of Yoshiki's belt caused a sweet line of precum to escape from the slit of his erection. If the man behind him didn't do anything soon, he was afraid he might completely lose his load.

His hands were suddenly pulled behind him and bound by the thick leather belt. Terachi tried to squirm free of the restraint but failed since it was almost so tight that it cut off circulation to the hands he played so well with. A hand quickly grabbed him by the hair and forced him to stand straight against the pianists body. "What do you want me to do next?" He asked the enslaved boy. 

The way his lover was gripping onto his hair so tightly caused his neck to literally ache, but at this point he didn't care. The pain almost made it thrilling for Shinya. "I want you to fuck me senseless." Came a reply in a weakened voice.

"You little slut." 

The head full of blond hair was once again slammed down into the couch, leaving Shinya gasping for breath. Yoshiki spat into his hand and rubbed his long fingers over tight opening. Was this all he got? Was this enough to lubricate him? The concerns infiltrated his thoughts, but to Yoshiki.... saliva would do. Without warning he slid two fingers into the young man's tight hole, stretching and preparing his sweet ass. The motions were followed by a soft cry that involuntarily escaped Shinya's mouth. His Idol had given him no warning before he decided to take action, and how he was left with wobbling knees and a third finger gliding into his hole. 

"You finger yourself don't you?" The older drummer asked in his usual sweet tone.... The same tone that made Shinya's heart flutter, but at the same time made his whole body tense with anxiety. Was it that obvious that he would at times take it upon himself to pleasure his own ass? "You've seemed to have prepared it yourself." Yoshiki leaned close and whispered in his ear "But how often do you touch yourself to the thought of me?" Was this really happening to the younger one...? Was the only person he lusted and wanted genuinely asking him this question? How did he know? How did he know?How did he know...? Shinya closed his eyes tight, swallowing down all embarrassment and replied honestly. 

"Constantly."

It was almost as if the person who had full control of his body was purring with delight at such a response. It seemed this was all the man wanted; to unmask the little whore that had hid behind innocent eyes for all these years. It wasn't long before the throbbing member was sliding between Shinya's cheeks, forcing him to completely open up for the brunette. The younger drummers eyes slipped shut as his whole entire world was submerged in want and the room around him was immersed with desire. 

More. More. More

Small thrusts began working their way into Shinya's body, but suddenly there was a soft knock on the door. His eyes shot open and his heart sank to the ground as fear shot through his veins. He tried to quickly squirm free of the belt that coiled around his hands like a snake but Yoshiki kept a tight grip on him making sure he held still. 

"Shinya?" A soft voice called from the other side of the door. His hair stood on edge as he instantly recognized this voice as the redhead guitarist that he looked up to since he joined the band. "Are you ok?... I haven't seen you at the party in a while." Shinya's fingers nervously sank Into the cushion that had been supporting the boys weight. What if Die caught them? What if his affair was exposed? His breathing hitch and his heart pounded at the thought. The guitarist had never trusted Yoshiki, and the pianist was the last person he'd ever want to see Shinya with. The boy knew that it wouldn't only expose how much of slut Shinya actually was, but would also damage the relationship he had built with Die. 

The stronger man leaned down and whispered so quietly that only Shinya could hear, "are you going to answer him?... Or do you want him to see me degrading you?" The blond shook his head quickly. If it were anyone else, he would have almost bragged that he caught the attention of such an idol.... But he could never do that to the guitarist he held so dear. He took a deep breath, and finally managed to choke out a sentence. "I'll be there soon! I promise you." Shinya hoped that would satisfy the redhead enough to leave them alone for just a few more moments... Or at least enough time to pleasure Yoshiki and make him wanting more. 

To his pleasure, the sound of Die's footsteps faded as he began walking back to the party in the other room. After a sigh of relief escaped his lungs, a sudden hand gripped around the petite male's arm and yanked him onto the older's lap. Yoshiki had spread Shinya's legs and was sitting comfortably in between them. There was no other option for the boy other than to stare it his lover face to face. Something about this position made him even more on edge, and wishing he was back in their original stance. Warm fingers trailed down his chest, giving him goosebumps as he waited eagerly to see what the Yoshiki's intentions were. "You love him don't you?" Came a voice that seemed to pierce through Shinya like a dagger.

"W-what do you mean?" He mumbled almost inaudibly. Sonehow he began to feel like his perfect evening with the older man had just been ruined. What had he done to make the other think that? Was there a blush on his cheeks when Die called out his name, or did he accidentally smile when the guitarist was worried about him? How had he messed this up? 

"I-I don't love him." Was all he could say. A darkness appeared to form in the pianist's eyes which was enough to make him tremor. "Ride me." He said in an affirmative tone. "I want you to fuck yourself on me." Shinya nodded quickly, not daring to question the mans word. The belt that twined his hands behind his back made the task difficult, but it wasn't long before the large cock was in his ass again. The younger drummer allowed the member to sink deeper into his body inch by inch, filling him with perverted delight. "I want you to look at me while you do it." Said the beautiful brunette. 

Shinya's eyes instantly drifted to meet his admirer's. Something about this felt so forbidden. So vile. So appealing to the younger male. The connection was so delectable and satisfying, that the boy fucked himself on Hayashi's errection till it hurt. His eyes gazed into the other's for a long time until the man finally spoke again, "Tell me you love me, Shinya."

Shinya leaned his head back as butterflies made their course through his stomach. This was the first time his inspiration had ever spoken his name, and now his heart felt like it would burst through his chest. The link between their eyes was no longer a gaze of lust and slowly turned into a look of warmth and intimacy. He leaned down to the best of his ability and pressed his lips against the other's before confessing.... "I love you. I love you so much. I can't tell you how much I've wanted his." Gentle gasps separated each of the words he had kept secret for so long. "I love you... I love you..." He panted between passionate kisses. 

Yoshiki reached between him and wrapped his warm hand around his lover's length. The slow pumps from his wrist made the younger one thrust into each desirable motion. A bead of sweat trailed down Shinya's back as he repeated the word "Yoshiki". It was as if he were praising his idol's precious name like it was a prayer.

A sudden line of his semen began to cover his beloved idol's chest like a painting. The sight wouldn't be very significant to anyone else, but to Shinya it looked like a fucking masterpiece. It took only a couple seconds later and the icon was falling into the same action, filling the his tight ass with his love. Shinya, who was sitting on his lap rested his head against his shoulder in attempts to regain his breath from such a passionate bondage. The younger one felt the other man's hands undo the belt that held them tightly together and slid out of his body, leaving him empty. At this point he was too tired to do anything other than curl up on the couch and close his eyes as Yoshiki went off into the room.

A moment later, the drummer came back dressed back in his original party attire and was holding a wad of tissues. "You look sleepy." He said with a grin as he knelt beside Shinya and began to clean the semen off his thin thighs. He took a deep breath and stared down at the younger boy. "I really did enjoy that... And I think I'd like to see you again soon."

A scarlet blush appeared on the blond's cheeks. Shinya leaned up from his peaceful position and left a kiss on his sweet heart's cheek. "I could definitely get used to that."


End file.
